Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Top 10 Things I Never Thought I Would Say Once I Was Married

10. Honey, please put your guns away.
9. Honey, please move your gun cleaning stuff so I can make dinner.
8. Honey, the cat is playing with your bore snake.
7. Honey, please pick up your little plastic bullets.
6. Honey, please open a window that gun cleaner smell is making me dizzy.
5. Honey, please stop playing with the guns so we can go to bed.
4. Honey, you do realize you have spent $300 on gun stuff and ammo this month?
3. Honey, can you please pick up the casings that are all over the house.
2. Honey, please get your guns off the bed, you'll get gun oil on the duvet.
1. Honey, please just pick a carry gun so we can go.

12 comments:

Breda said...

This is very funny - and very true! Also...What is it with guys and that gun cleaner? It doesn't smell as good as they think it does.

Bitter said...

He needs to buy some Gunzilla to prove his love for you. :)

Seriously, it has no smell and it cleans as well as Hoppes. It actually cleans better than most other brands.

George said...

Heh, heh...she said Bore Snake.
:)

Turk Turon said...

Hoppes reminds me of my dad. I'll bet a lot of guys remember it that way.

B Smith said...

$300 a month? Damn, no wonder I'm still single...

Linoge said...

Only $300?

If only my Better Half would be that calm about that level of expenditure...

Conservative Scalawag said...

Yeah, mostly it is number 6 and number 1 that I get from the wife.

Very witty love it.

Mrs. Ahab said...

I'll have him look into that Gunzilla stuff thanks :)

Tam said...

Actually, I like the smell of Hoppe's. It smells like bananas. Chemical bananas, but bananas nonetheless.

George said...

Tam, the original Hoppes #9 (which is not made anymore due to it's use of carcinogens) actually had an essence of banana oil in it to make the nasty smell of the methyl-ethyl badshit easier to take.

Tam said...

But I like carcinogens. Everything fun in life is carcinogenic. How do you know something's fun if it doesn't give you tumors or make you glow?

(Backup Plan: If you can't decide if something's fun or not, stop and think "Would my mom cry if she knew I was doing this?" If the answer is "Yes", it's probably fun.)

Tracy said...

SO TRUE! Guns came into my life via my wedding vows. I can definitely relate!