Tuesday, July 29, 2008
There Are Fish Killers Out There!
Okay, seriously how lame to you have to be to beat and kill a bunch of fish in a tiny pond. It's not like they are going to put up much of a fight. I think the worse they can do is slap you a little. That being said I really fail to see how a person can get that attached to a fish to call it part of the family. It's a fish.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Explode Clay Thing!
This weekend Ahab and I went out to the family farm. We did some target shooting and that was cool, but then we starting shooting some clays. It was totally awesome. I love it when they explode. Apparently I am pretty good at it, but we'll have to see, that might just be beginner's luck. It was lots of fun though, and I totally want to do it again.
Friday, July 18, 2008
I want it now!
I ordered my iPhone last Friday. They said it would be here in 7-10 days. It has been 7. I want it now. When it comes to new gadgets, I have little patience.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Indiana Blue?
I am not really sure how I feel about this. On one hand the idea of putting a very conservative democrat with Obamallama would have its benefits if the unthinkable happens and our country elects a socialist. The idea of having Bayh waiting in the wings and giving Obamallama advise gives me some comfort and hope. On the other hand, having Bayh as his running mate might actually be what Obama needs to get elected. It would bring in the more conservative base and possibly even turn Indiana blue! I have always been so proud of living in a red state, but Hoosiers really have it bad for Bayh. I guess it is a good thing that this is not up to me, I don't know which scarier, Obama with Bayh, or without.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
How to Herd Hummingbirds
Yes that is correct, herding hummingbirds.
Step 1: Realize hummingbirds have very small brains and will not get out of the garage on their own.
Step 2: Swat at the hummingbirds with a broom once again overestimating their intelligence thinking they will be smart enough to figure out they can't fly through the ceiling.
Step 3: Acquire a basket.
Step 4: Pry the hummingbird off of the door with basket.
Step 5: Freak out when the hummingbird starts flying in the basket and hits your hand.
Step 6: Walk basket out of garage.
Step 7: Go back for the second hummingbird because apparently one dumb animal attracts another.
Step 8: Almost kill hummingbird while trying to capture it in basket.
Step 9: Freak out again because they sound like really big bugs!
Step 10: Walk second dumb animal out of the garage.
Seriously, dumbest bird ever.
Step 1: Realize hummingbirds have very small brains and will not get out of the garage on their own.
Step 2: Swat at the hummingbirds with a broom once again overestimating their intelligence thinking they will be smart enough to figure out they can't fly through the ceiling.
Step 3: Acquire a basket.
Step 4: Pry the hummingbird off of the door with basket.
Step 5: Freak out when the hummingbird starts flying in the basket and hits your hand.
Step 6: Walk basket out of garage.
Step 7: Go back for the second hummingbird because apparently one dumb animal attracts another.
Step 8: Almost kill hummingbird while trying to capture it in basket.
Step 9: Freak out again because they sound like really big bugs!
Step 10: Walk second dumb animal out of the garage.
Seriously, dumbest bird ever.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
The Midwest Rules
I keep trying to tell Ahab that we live in the best possible place to raise a family. Now I have proof. I love being right.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Statements that are just as Ridiculous...
Statement:
"If a resident has a handgun in the home that he can use for self-defense, then he has a handgun in the home that he can use to commit suicide or engage in acts of domestic violence," Breyer wrote.
Statements that are just as Ridiculous:
If a resident has a knife in the home that he can use for chopping onions, then he has a knife in the home that he can use to commit suicide of engage in acts of domestic violence.
If a resident has a razor blade in the home that he can use for hair removal, then he has a razor blade in the home that he can use to commit suicide or engage in acts of domestic violence.
If a resident has a rope in the home that he can use for tying down furniture so it won't blow away, then he has a rope in the home that he can use to commit suicide or engage in acts of domestic violence.
If a resident has a car in the home (or in the garage) that he uses to get to work, then he has a car in the home that he can use to commit suicide or engage in acts of domestic violence.
If a resident has a bathtub and a toaster in the home that he uses to bathe and warm his poptarts, then he has a bathtub and a toaster in the home that he can use to commit suicide or engage in acts of domestic violence.
If a resident has a bottle of Drano in the home that he uses to clean his pipes, then he has a bottle of Drano in the home that he can use to commit suicide or engage in acts of domestic violence.
If a resident has a belt in the home that he uses to hold up his pants, then he has a belt in the home that he can use to commit suicide or engage in acts of domestic violence (or domestic fun).
If a resident has a poisonous snake in the home that he uses to do Lord knows what with because why would you possibly want a poisonous snake in the home, but it is America, so if he wants a poisonous snake he has the right to own a poisonous snake, then he has a poisonous snake in the home that he can use to commit suicide or engage in acts of domestic violence.
If a resident has a plastic bag and some duct tape in the home that he uses to put kitty poop in and secure ducts, then he has a plastic bag and some duct tape in the home that he can use to commit suicide or engage in acts of domestic violence.
"If a resident has a handgun in the home that he can use for self-defense, then he has a handgun in the home that he can use to commit suicide or engage in acts of domestic violence," Breyer wrote.
Statements that are just as Ridiculous:
If a resident has a knife in the home that he can use for chopping onions, then he has a knife in the home that he can use to commit suicide of engage in acts of domestic violence.
If a resident has a razor blade in the home that he can use for hair removal, then he has a razor blade in the home that he can use to commit suicide or engage in acts of domestic violence.
If a resident has a rope in the home that he can use for tying down furniture so it won't blow away, then he has a rope in the home that he can use to commit suicide or engage in acts of domestic violence.
If a resident has a car in the home (or in the garage) that he uses to get to work, then he has a car in the home that he can use to commit suicide or engage in acts of domestic violence.
If a resident has a bathtub and a toaster in the home that he uses to bathe and warm his poptarts, then he has a bathtub and a toaster in the home that he can use to commit suicide or engage in acts of domestic violence.
If a resident has a bottle of Drano in the home that he uses to clean his pipes, then he has a bottle of Drano in the home that he can use to commit suicide or engage in acts of domestic violence.
If a resident has a belt in the home that he uses to hold up his pants, then he has a belt in the home that he can use to commit suicide or engage in acts of domestic violence (or domestic fun).
If a resident has a poisonous snake in the home that he uses to do Lord knows what with because why would you possibly want a poisonous snake in the home, but it is America, so if he wants a poisonous snake he has the right to own a poisonous snake, then he has a poisonous snake in the home that he can use to commit suicide or engage in acts of domestic violence.
If a resident has a plastic bag and some duct tape in the home that he uses to put kitty poop in and secure ducts, then he has a plastic bag and some duct tape in the home that he can use to commit suicide or engage in acts of domestic violence.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Children are Like Gang Tattoos
Ahab and I were talking a nice quiet walk around our subdivision last night when we came across a family with several children in tow. As they approached us, we looked at each with the look of, we need to get to the side, or they will run us over. This got me thinking. Why do I have to move off the sidewalk just because you have children. They are the ones with the group too big for the sidewalk, not us! This led me to the conclusion that children are like gang tattoos for yuppies. The more you have, the more important you are. People without children must yield and give respect to the people with children. People with the children always give these looks to people without like, oh poor you maybe someday you'll be bless with a child like we were and accepted into the "gang". This analogy also works in that the higher the child on your body, the more important you are. So if you are carrying a child, you are much more important, than if your child is on on the ground. For example, people will almost always open doors for people that are carrying a child. I find it amusing that the result of an act that can be committed easily by two teenagers in the back of 1990 Grand AM is so highly revered in our society.
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